I still want to run away.
Not because I'm not happy here,
but because I'm a child.

I miss writing about nothing.
It's so much easier than writing about SOMETHING.
And making it
fit
and faking
it.

There's no such thing as "empty" anymore.

Sometimes, I forget that people read this.
I think a more accurate statement would be, "Sometimes, I remember people read this.

When I used to read
cummings
all the time,
I just immersed myself in the timing
and in the places he changes
lines.
It changes
minds.
At least it changed
mine.

How can I miss places I've never been?

I missed my Grandpa today.

I missed a lot today.

"You're not a miracle, and I'm not a saint. I'm just another soldier on the road to nowhere."
Damien Rice reminds me of you.
I don't even know you.
I think we could have loved.

I don't think I'm cryptic.

The things I want most are petty and unrealistic.
The things you want for me are petty and too realistic.

k-i-s-s-i-n-g

Upon your collarbone, there lies a kiss.
A delicate little thing.
I want to steal it, although I cannot believe it would be true thievery.
There is also one just behind
and a little below
your ear.
This one teases me so.
A perfectly lovely little kiss.
There is yet another that sits at the corner of your mouth.
It distracts me when you speak
and when you smile, I can see nothing
save this small kiss.

Your limbs ache. Your heart is tired.
It is here that you love me.
In the cold.
In the dark.
When you can't find another way to keep warm
other than to steal from me the heat I house.

And so selfishly you love me.
Not for us, but for you.

When your limbs ache.
And your heart is tired.

Advice from the Sea (Personification)

I don't know the sea without you next to me.
I don't know the sand without your hand in my hand.
I don't know the sky without you by my side.
The clouds don't look the same unless they spell out your name.

Summer is coming and I'm afraid the ocean won't recognize me.
She'll open her arms and nod her head and then sweetly to me she'll sing

"Hello! How are you? I'm the Deep Blue Sea!
Come here, my child--you look so lonely.
Come--wade into me. I'll keep you company!"

But when we were "we", she used to sing:

"Hello, you two!
Oh, how I've missed you! You look more in love than ever!
The Moon and all of her waves, they're rooting for you!
Oh you'll make it.
I know you can make it.
Oh you'll make it if you

Share an apple a day and you play outside
and you each kiss your mothers hello and goodbye
and you never forget to kiss each other goodnight

Well...that's how you make it!"

But we didn't make it.
Oh, the tragedy.

I ate my share of apples
I climbed my share of trees
I gave away all my kisses
now my lips are empty
and so are my arms.
and so is the sea.
She doesn't recognize me.

kiss

You want my kiss.
You watch my face, your eyes lingering on
my lips.

well.

I don't give those freely.

I give them joyfully
purely
exceptionally.

but not freely.

another older one. but still so relevant.

I crave obscurity
something that I have found to be
an impossibility with you.

I long to be invisible.
You seek me out.
even my secrets cease to be
my secrets
and somehow

with a look of your eyes
and the soft tone of your voice

they become
our secrets.

I want to hide
to be still and alone and to
keep myself inside myself

but you have
infiltrated my heart.

you breathe light into the darkest places.

one from a few months ago

Your way of speaking pains me.
The movement of your hands across my own distresses me.
Your closeness makes me want to cry out.
When you are near to me, it becomes imparative that I remind myself of the self-control I know I posses
and it is with the greatest strength I can excersise that I keep
my eyes from your face
my fingers from your hair
my lips from your skin.